Day -1

So some nausea reared its ugly head last night. A combination of meds finally let me sleep around 11. But at 4 a.m. I was up and had a migraine. Took a while to get a migraine medicine ordered and up here from the pharmacy, so it was a pretty unpleasant morning.

I got the second/last treatment of melphalan this morning, chewed my ice and then took some ativan for nausea and slept for two hours. When I woke up I was a new woman. Still not much of an appetite and working on the combination of meds to keep the nausea in check, but doing much better. I got some walking and some squats in, not a ton of either, but it’s something.

Thanks for all your comments and well wishes.

I hope to report something every day. Perhaps not witty or eloquent, and maybe even not from me, but the plan is for every day while I’m in here,

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Heather

I never thought I’d be writing a blog, and certainly not one that is all about me, and yet, here I am. For me life has always been interesting, not mundane, not always exciting per se, but hardly ever the norm. When I say “It’s always something…” I don’t hear it as my life is a mess, it;s always something. It’s more of life is challenging and evolving and messy and inspiring and wondrous, it’s always something. I grew up in suburbia, buy my grandfather was the head of the Communist Party in the U.S. I was raised keeping that a secret, so that was something. I am tall, always have been, really tall (6’1″), I was taller than every human being in my elementary school when I was in 6th grade, that is still something. My parents divorced in my teens. I got a full basketball scholarship to Duke University. I married my high school basketball coach, 18 years my senior. I raised a stepson. I had two amazing kids of my own. We had a multicultural household, secular christian (I guess that’s what I would call it, you know Santa and the Easter Bunny) and Judaism, I used to say if it was a holiday – we celebrated it! We were uber involved in our community, mostly through youth athletics, coaching, managing and spectating. Our kids grew up, I started a photography business on the side (I hope to share some photos here) and we planned to travel a bit together, went to Portugal for our 25th anniversary and then my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer, initially they gave him 5 years, but he only survived for a little over two. I was going to say lived, but really, it was more like surviving. That, indeed, was something. I became a widow at 49. It was the worst thing that ever happened to me. But, then it was something in another way. I relearned who I was. You don’t realize how much of you becomes a combination of you and another person in a relationship. And not in a bad way, it is essential, and you don’t lose yourself, you just evolve. And I found myself suddenly alone, and learning about myself and who I had become over the years, what was just me, and what was part of who we were together. Which in retrospect, was probably hardest on those around me who had gotten used to the old me, or never even knew the original me. A year later I found love again. Sold my home of 31 years and moved closer to work. I became more fit, ate more healthfully and was amazed that I could be happy, truly happy, in the wake, no not wake, but the shadow of such profound grief. And that is truly something, something amazing and unexpected. And then, through some routine blood work in April 2014, and a visit to a hematologist and bone marrow biopsy in May, I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma. And so, yes, for me right now it’s multiple myeloma, but that is not all, there are still highs and joys, and the mundane and the rest, but something like cancer does cast a pretty long shadow.

8 thoughts on “Day -1”

  1. Oh shoot! The migraine is insult to injury…hang in there babe…this is long and hard but you have endured do much. I love you bushels and barrels and all the cliches.

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  3. Hey there Heather😊
    Hate to hear you’re in pain w migraines, nausea and all, and happy to hear you’re staying strong albeit challenging….
    Keep battling – your comments and updates are quite inspiring -imagine, you’re undergoing your battle and at same time inspiring others-go figure! Thx for updates and wit and know we are all praying and thinking about you 🙏
    PS My dad AKA ‘Mr. D’ says hi and sends his best to you, he remembers your toughness
    Xoxo

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  4. Hey Heather! I’m glad the melphalen treatments are over. You are a trooper!!! It must almost be time for the “good stuff” (your stem cells)!!! Hang in there girl!! I think of you often and light a candle every night for you:) I’m no Mother Theresa, but it can’t hurt:)))

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