And sometimes . . .

And sometimes it means two hospital admissions, infection with fever, and some cognitive confusion.

I’m home now resting with twice weekly visits to Smilow, getting some blood products. And I’m taking care of a boatload of details with the help of my supporting cast.

Thanks for all your love and support.

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Heather

I never thought I’d be writing a blog, and certainly not one that is all about me, and yet, here I am. For me life has always been interesting, not mundane, not always exciting per se, but hardly ever the norm. When I say “It’s always something…” I don’t hear it as my life is a mess, it;s always something. It’s more of life is challenging and evolving and messy and inspiring and wondrous, it’s always something. I grew up in suburbia, buy my grandfather was the head of the Communist Party in the U.S. I was raised keeping that a secret, so that was something. I am tall, always have been, really tall (6’1″), I was taller than every human being in my elementary school when I was in 6th grade, that is still something. My parents divorced in my teens. I got a full basketball scholarship to Duke University. I married my high school basketball coach, 18 years my senior. I raised a stepson. I had two amazing kids of my own. We had a multicultural household, secular christian (I guess that’s what I would call it, you know Santa and the Easter Bunny) and Judaism, I used to say if it was a holiday – we celebrated it! We were uber involved in our community, mostly through youth athletics, coaching, managing and spectating. Our kids grew up, I started a photography business on the side (I hope to share some photos here) and we planned to travel a bit together, went to Portugal for our 25th anniversary and then my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer, initially they gave him 5 years, but he only survived for a little over two. I was going to say lived, but really, it was more like surviving. That, indeed, was something. I became a widow at 49. It was the worst thing that ever happened to me. But, then it was something in another way. I relearned who I was. You don’t realize how much of you becomes a combination of you and another person in a relationship. And not in a bad way, it is essential, and you don’t lose yourself, you just evolve. And I found myself suddenly alone, and learning about myself and who I had become over the years, what was just me, and what was part of who we were together. Which in retrospect, was probably hardest on those around me who had gotten used to the old me, or never even knew the original me. A year later I found love again. Sold my home of 31 years and moved closer to work. I became more fit, ate more healthfully and was amazed that I could be happy, truly happy, in the wake, no not wake, but the shadow of such profound grief. And that is truly something, something amazing and unexpected. And then, through some routine blood work in April 2014, and a visit to a hematologist and bone marrow biopsy in May, I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma. And so, yes, for me right now it’s multiple myeloma, but that is not all, there are still highs and joys, and the mundane and the rest, but something like cancer does cast a pretty long shadow.

14 thoughts on “And sometimes . . .”

  2. Heather,
    So sorry for your new challenges. I know you will stay strong and face this head on like you have done all along. Sending you healing prayers and lots of hugs too. Please take good care.
    Ann Marie

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  5. Love you Heather- Your strength and your enthusiasm. So glad you are home with family and friends to help you through this time. Sending lots of hugs, Kimmy, Paul and Birdie

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  10. Hi Heather, Sending you love and good wishes always. I am one of many of your fans. You are an amazing, beautiful person (inside and out), can make me laugh always, and call me out on my poop. Glad you are home with your family and the all important Lola! All the love and hugs. Denise

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  13. I’m glad we get to journey together. I admire, respect and love you, all the way deep, and have for a long time. I like your people, too. : )
    … A lot of people love you, you know.
    So much.
    I think you get to bring that with you.
    Good people love, good dog love, good life. Juicy and interesting. Conscious, aware, involved. I think you make pretty good use of your time. I know that you have definitely made my life more fun, more interesting, more adventurous, more meaningful.
    Peace to you, my beloved friend.
    Good journey.
    XO
    ♥️

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