ANC Keeping Me Here

I need my ANC to get over 500 and then they’ll take me off the antibiotics and then see if I stay fever free.

So, Thursday is a definite no go, holding on to Friday, but know that might not happen either.

I’ll update when I have a firm date.

Thanks for all of the support and sweet notes!

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I never thought I’d be writing a blog, and certainly not one that is all about me, and yet, here I am. For me life has always been interesting, not mundane, not always exciting per se, but hardly ever the norm. When I say “It’s always something…” I don’t hear it as my life is a mess, it;s always something. It’s more of life is challenging and evolving and messy and inspiring and wondrous, it’s always something. I grew up in suburbia, buy my grandfather was the head of the Communist Party in the U.S. I was raised keeping that a secret, so that was something. I am tall, always have been, really tall (6’1″), I was taller than every human being in my elementary school when I was in 6th grade, that is still something. My parents divorced in my teens. I got a full basketball scholarship to Duke University. I married my high school basketball coach, 18 years my senior. I raised a stepson. I had two amazing kids of my own. We had a multicultural household, secular christian (I guess that’s what I would call it, you know Santa and the Easter Bunny) and Judaism, I used to say if it was a holiday – we celebrated it! We were uber involved in our community, mostly through youth athletics, coaching, managing and spectating. Our kids grew up, I started a photography business on the side (I hope to share some photos here) and we planned to travel a bit together, went to Portugal for our 25th anniversary and then my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer, initially they gave him 5 years, but he only survived for a little over two. I was going to say lived, but really, it was more like surviving. That, indeed, was something. I became a widow at 49. It was the worst thing that ever happened to me. But, then it was something in another way. I relearned who I was. You don’t realize how much of you becomes a combination of you and another person in a relationship. And not in a bad way, it is essential, and you don’t lose yourself, you just evolve. And I found myself suddenly alone, and learning about myself and who I had become over the years, what was just me, and what was part of who we were together. Which in retrospect, was probably hardest on those around me who had gotten used to the old me, or never even knew the original me. A year later I found love again. Sold my home of 31 years and moved closer to work. I became more fit, ate more healthfully and was amazed that I could be happy, truly happy, in the wake, no not wake, but the shadow of such profound grief. And that is truly something, something amazing and unexpected. And then, through some routine blood work in April 2014, and a visit to a hematologist and bone marrow biopsy in May, I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma. And so, yes, for me right now it’s multiple myeloma, but that is not all, there are still highs and joys, and the mundane and the rest, but something like cancer does cast a pretty long shadow.

4 thoughts on “ANC Keeping Me Here”

  1. I can only imagine how sad you are. This delay really just sucks. I was so happy that you were going home tomorrow. But now, AGAIN you have to wait.
    Dad and I think of you everyday, and if it’s any consolation, we can’t go out anywhere either.
    Did I ever tell you that the letters MSNBC are permanently burned into our tv screen. No matter what station we have on, there’s a ghostly MSNBC in the corner. Perhaps pointing out that we have changed the channel.
    Delivery take out and Facetime with Tatum and Grayson are my high points.
    Much love to you. Can’t wait to hear you are heading home.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I don’t see why the African National Congress should have any say about when you return home.
    But I do believe that the doctors and nurses are keeping an eye on you, and I expect they’ll send you home at the right time.
    Which…. Hopefully…. Will be…
    S o o n!
    I miss you.
    If there’s anything I can do to help boost your neutraphil count, let me know. I could go to the all-night black market neutraphil emporium and pick some up for you.
    In the mean time…. Hydrate!
    I love you.
    See you in CT

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sorry I missed this yesterday and sorrier about the news. But at least “home” is part of your message. Hope you’re feeling better than your news.The title of your blog is hovering over Boston. Enough! Let’s go docs!
    Love you

    Liked by 1 person

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