Pretty Quiet Here

No signs of side effects. They gave me platelets yesterday (count was down to 8). I am feeling okay, except for the bone pain.

They administer the neurological test 4-5 times a day. Part of the test is writing a sentence. Any sentence. Whatever comes to mind. I’ve done the weather, Kensley, etc.

But tonight when they woke me up to check my vitals they administered the test. Write a sentence, hmmmm… this is what I came up with: “The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain.”

After the nurse left I racked my brain to remember where that came from: My Fair Lady. What?? I passed the test but I think I may be going a little crazy! Nine nights in a hospital with no visitors allowed.

But seriously, I’m fine. What will I come up with next?

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Heather

I never thought I’d be writing a blog, and certainly not one that is all about me, and yet, here I am. For me life has always been interesting, not mundane, not always exciting per se, but hardly ever the norm. When I say “It’s always something…” I don’t hear it as my life is a mess, it;s always something. It’s more of life is challenging and evolving and messy and inspiring and wondrous, it’s always something. I grew up in suburbia, buy my grandfather was the head of the Communist Party in the U.S. I was raised keeping that a secret, so that was something. I am tall, always have been, really tall (6’1″), I was taller than every human being in my elementary school when I was in 6th grade, that is still something. My parents divorced in my teens. I got a full basketball scholarship to Duke University. I married my high school basketball coach, 18 years my senior. I raised a stepson. I had two amazing kids of my own. We had a multicultural household, secular christian (I guess that’s what I would call it, you know Santa and the Easter Bunny) and Judaism, I used to say if it was a holiday – we celebrated it! We were uber involved in our community, mostly through youth athletics, coaching, managing and spectating. Our kids grew up, I started a photography business on the side (I hope to share some photos here) and we planned to travel a bit together, went to Portugal for our 25th anniversary and then my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer, initially they gave him 5 years, but he only survived for a little over two. I was going to say lived, but really, it was more like surviving. That, indeed, was something. I became a widow at 49. It was the worst thing that ever happened to me. But, then it was something in another way. I relearned who I was. You don’t realize how much of you becomes a combination of you and another person in a relationship. And not in a bad way, it is essential, and you don’t lose yourself, you just evolve. And I found myself suddenly alone, and learning about myself and who I had become over the years, what was just me, and what was part of who we were together. Which in retrospect, was probably hardest on those around me who had gotten used to the old me, or never even knew the original me. A year later I found love again. Sold my home of 31 years and moved closer to work. I became more fit, ate more healthfully and was amazed that I could be happy, truly happy, in the wake, no not wake, but the shadow of such profound grief. And that is truly something, something amazing and unexpected. And then, through some routine blood work in April 2014, and a visit to a hematologist and bone marrow biopsy in May, I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma. And so, yes, for me right now it’s multiple myeloma, but that is not all, there are still highs and joys, and the mundane and the rest, but something like cancer does cast a pretty long shadow.

10 thoughts on “Pretty Quiet Here”

  1. So glad you are progressing through your new journey. May you find some peace and consolation and embrace all the love and well wishes from family and friends. Take care.
    Ann Marie

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Heather- I think that is My Fair Lady too! Some new suggestions for your viewing pleasure… “Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die” (Princess Bride), “You sit on a throne of lies” (Elf), “You’re killing me smalls.” (The Sandlot), “I’ll have what she’s having.” (When Harry met Sally), “”Surely you can’t be serious. I am serious and don’t call me Shirley”. (Airplane) Hope this gave you a laugh and maybe you have some time or energy to watch some of these movies? hugs to an awesome chick! Denise

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Well, you DO have a way with words!! LOL!

    Your progress, and sense of humor in all you are going through, is so remarkable, Heather. Write on! We are thinking of you. XOXO

    Like

  4. Thinking of you Heather. It’s a blustery, warm day here. For some reason the wind made me remember the Hamptons: body surfing , crashing through the waves and the sand filling up and pulling down our bathing suits. Good memories. Stay strong and know we are all rooting for you. Hugs

    Like

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