Today’s the Day

Everything looks good to get the CAR-T cells today. White blood count is sufficiently dismal to make room for the CAR-T cells to move in and proliferate. And I’m getting some extra fluid for my slightly low blood pressure.

I passed my baseline neurological test with flying colors (now I sound like our former president). I asked them if I started to not do as well would I notice or would still think I was doing fine. They said I wouldn’t notice and they would still tell me I was doing great! I found this comforting. They also said neurotoxicity in myeloma patients getting CAR-T is not very common (but possible).

The cells are currently being thawed in a water bath and I should get them early this afternoon. It is somewhat of a non-event, but the attending did say congratulations on his way out 🍾

The nurse asked me last night if I wanted my cells blessed. This took me aback. And then I received some beautiful words from some friends and know that I am already blessed.

“Hope sees the invisible, feels the intangible and achieves the impossible”. Anonymous

May each cell be the hope we can’t see but believe will be the cure.

I bless you, and all your cells; I bless the cells you are about to receive; I bless the minds and spirits, and brains and bodies, and spirits of every person, and every energetic and vibrational presence involved in this process.

Published by

Heather

I never thought I’d be writing a blog, and certainly not one that is all about me, and yet, here I am. For me life has always been interesting, not mundane, not always exciting per se, but hardly ever the norm. When I say “It’s always something…” I don’t hear it as my life is a mess, it;s always something. It’s more of life is challenging and evolving and messy and inspiring and wondrous, it’s always something. I grew up in suburbia, buy my grandfather was the head of the Communist Party in the U.S. I was raised keeping that a secret, so that was something. I am tall, always have been, really tall (6’1″), I was taller than every human being in my elementary school when I was in 6th grade, that is still something. My parents divorced in my teens. I got a full basketball scholarship to Duke University. I married my high school basketball coach, 18 years my senior. I raised a stepson. I had two amazing kids of my own. We had a multicultural household, secular christian (I guess that’s what I would call it, you know Santa and the Easter Bunny) and Judaism, I used to say if it was a holiday – we celebrated it! We were uber involved in our community, mostly through youth athletics, coaching, managing and spectating. Our kids grew up, I started a photography business on the side (I hope to share some photos here) and we planned to travel a bit together, went to Portugal for our 25th anniversary and then my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer, initially they gave him 5 years, but he only survived for a little over two. I was going to say lived, but really, it was more like surviving. That, indeed, was something. I became a widow at 49. It was the worst thing that ever happened to me. But, then it was something in another way. I relearned who I was. You don’t realize how much of you becomes a combination of you and another person in a relationship. And not in a bad way, it is essential, and you don’t lose yourself, you just evolve. And I found myself suddenly alone, and learning about myself and who I had become over the years, what was just me, and what was part of who we were together. Which in retrospect, was probably hardest on those around me who had gotten used to the old me, or never even knew the original me. A year later I found love again. Sold my home of 31 years and moved closer to work. I became more fit, ate more healthfully and was amazed that I could be happy, truly happy, in the wake, no not wake, but the shadow of such profound grief. And that is truly something, something amazing and unexpected. And then, through some routine blood work in April 2014, and a visit to a hematologist and bone marrow biopsy in May, I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma. And so, yes, for me right now it’s multiple myeloma, but that is not all, there are still highs and joys, and the mundane and the rest, but something like cancer does cast a pretty long shadow.

20 thoughts on “Today’s the Day”

  1. I think it’s essential that the cells are getting a bath. Your Grandma C would be proud. It looks a good week for those of us cancer fighters. My numbers (as of yesterday) are higher than they’ve ever been, and that’s without chemo for 3 weeks.
    I hope you have no bad side effects, as the nurse suggested. You seem to be very healthy otherwise. I’m with you today. You have a lot of good vibes coming your way today. Take it all in. I love you.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. You are right. Those blessings are powerful and wonderful. I send all my positive “Jew-Jew” to you and to everyone involved.

    Like

  3. Positive thoughts all the way… we are welcoming these new cells and so grateful you are able to get them. – …sending all good thoughts and positive energy.
    You’re amazing!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. May every cell you receive be blessed and charged with healing power! You will provide a safe haven for them… congrats on this very big day! Sending g lots of love. ❤️
    Terry and Randy

    Liked by 1 person

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