Remission

Dana Farber has a patient portal, where you can see your appointment and your lab results and send messages to your doctor. And they have a new feature now where you can read your doctor’s notes after your visit. These are the notes that your doctor puts into your record. Doctors have always done this. They are leaving information for themselves and for anyone else who might look back into your record. And now there is a new initiative afoot called Open Notes. I know about Open Notes because of my job at Yale Health. We have implemented this and call it “Shared Notes”. Interestingly, at Yale only 7% of patients are reading their notes.

For the most part notes are somewhat boring and a tad redundant. And this was as it should be. The idea is that your doctor would have shared what he wrote already. When I visited with a cardiologist last year he actually dictated his note while I sat there, and told me to let him know if he didn’t get something right. It was very interesting – and talk about transparency!

A few months ago I read my note from my visit with Dr, Munshi on January 18th (the notes are often not available right away so you have to remember to go back and read them) I saw something that caught my eye, this is what I read:

She is in remission both from symptoms point of view and Also from laboratory results.

Well, will you look at that, I am “in remission”.

I have to say that it does feel a bit different. The stem cell transplant is coming up on 3 years (3 years!) and I’ve been on maintenance therapy for two and a half years. Everything is moving along without much fuss. All good!

I have found myself feeling a bit cocky, well, not feeling cocky, but having some cocky thoughts – maybe I could take a break from treatment – which my intellectual mind knows is not wise nor possible. And there isn’t any reason to want to take a break, other than the biweekly bloodworm sticks, visits to Smilow and injections into my stomach (oh and the constipation, don’t forget about the constipation!). But, really, there is no need. And all it takes to burst my cocky bubble is to wonder about what would happen if I did take a break, and the numbers went up, and it was back, and back where I had to get more and different treatments. Thank you, no, I will stick with my boring schedule.

And that brings me around to why I will be walking in the MMRF Tri-State 5K Event on Sunday, June 10th. Multiple myeloma remains an incurable cancer, so we walk, and raise money and support great organizations like the MMRF in hopes of finding a cure. If you’d like to join my team on the walk (or donate) visit my page.

P.S. The co-founder of the MMRF, Kathy Giusti was highlighted in an article in the Wall Street Journal this weekend, “An Urgent Mission to Speed Progress Against Cancer”.

Published by

Heather

I never thought I’d be writing a blog, and certainly not one that is all about me, and yet, here I am. For me life has always been interesting, not mundane, not always exciting per se, but hardly ever the norm. When I say “It’s always something…” I don’t hear it as my life is a mess, it;s always something. It’s more of life is challenging and evolving and messy and inspiring and wondrous, it’s always something. I grew up in suburbia, buy my grandfather was the head of the Communist Party in the U.S. I was raised keeping that a secret, so that was something. I am tall, always have been, really tall (6’1″), I was taller than every human being in my elementary school when I was in 6th grade, that is still something. My parents divorced in my teens. I got a full basketball scholarship to Duke University. I married my high school basketball coach, 18 years my senior. I raised a stepson. I had two amazing kids of my own. We had a multicultural household, secular christian (I guess that’s what I would call it, you know Santa and the Easter Bunny) and Judaism, I used to say if it was a holiday – we celebrated it! We were uber involved in our community, mostly through youth athletics, coaching, managing and spectating. Our kids grew up, I started a photography business on the side (I hope to share some photos here) and we planned to travel a bit together, went to Portugal for our 25th anniversary and then my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer, initially they gave him 5 years, but he only survived for a little over two. I was going to say lived, but really, it was more like surviving. That, indeed, was something. I became a widow at 49. It was the worst thing that ever happened to me. But, then it was something in another way. I relearned who I was. You don’t realize how much of you becomes a combination of you and another person in a relationship. And not in a bad way, it is essential, and you don’t lose yourself, you just evolve. And I found myself suddenly alone, and learning about myself and who I had become over the years, what was just me, and what was part of who we were together. Which in retrospect, was probably hardest on those around me who had gotten used to the old me, or never even knew the original me. A year later I found love again. Sold my home of 31 years and moved closer to work. I became more fit, ate more healthfully and was amazed that I could be happy, truly happy, in the wake, no not wake, but the shadow of such profound grief. And that is truly something, something amazing and unexpected. And then, through some routine blood work in April 2014, and a visit to a hematologist and bone marrow biopsy in May, I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma. And so, yes, for me right now it’s multiple myeloma, but that is not all, there are still highs and joys, and the mundane and the rest, but something like cancer does cast a pretty long shadow.

6 thoughts on “Remission”

  1. I agree with any decision you make that brings you the greatest peace of mind. I also think you and your doctors and your medicines make a good team. Remission is a good path!

    Like

  2. You are remarkable, Heather…grasping life with both hands and enjoying every moment…you go, girl! In your heart, you will make the right decisions for yourself, as you have done up to this moment! Walk on!

    Like

  3. Heather
    You are an amazing woman with the best support system, your family! Continue on the same path you have been following and it might be boring but better than the alternative. Peace & love, Carol

    Like

  4. What amazing, great news ! With the background of all our losses, we all should carpe the hell out of every diem!!
    Your strength is admirable & gained through your personal decisions.
    Trust your gut, Heather
    Love, Barbara & Robbie

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s