Work, treatment, photography

So those are my reasons for not blogging. Or to clarify, I think it is a combination of the three: back to work in the office full-time, getting the consolidation treatment, and the prime season for my photography schedule – have all kept me from sitting at the computer and blogging. I’ve been tired, and any free time sitting at the computer at home, I should be editing photos.

Work has been good, you know, it’s work. It’s good to be back and seeing everyone on a daily basis, interacting with friends and colleagues (sometimes, every once in a while, they are both!). Everyone has been very gracious and kind. Examples of which are the in the photo above. Those are three “gifts” given to me in my first week back at the office.

Untitled-1

The first one, the mini blueberry muffins, are from someone I know very casually at work. We say “hi” when we pass in the hall or the break room, a nice guy, but a co-worker, not a friend. The day after I came back he swung by my office and quickly dropped the package on my desk and said “welcome back”. So sweet.

The flowers are from someone who has only worked here for about a year, we have worked on some projects together. A colleague.

The last item is from a friend, and also a colleague, someone I sometimes refer to as my “rabbi”. While I was out she had traveled to South Korea to visit her son and his young family., And while there she had this name stamp/talisman made for me, with my name (or the closest approximation, I think they do not have the “th” sound) with a healing message on it.

All of them, so kind and conpletely unexpected.

On Saturday night I finished the last of the “consolidation” treatment. My white blood count took a bit of a hit over the course of the two cycles. I had to get a neupogen shot at one point and then when it went down again they cut my dose of revlimid in half for the last week.

I’ve been tired. Sometimes very tired. With a few nights of very little sleep from the decadron. And the neuropathy in my feet has worsened, and I sometimes feel like I am starting to have a little bit of tingling in my fingers, this is from the velcade. It is the same treatment I had last January through March, but it seemed a little bit harder. Maybe it’s coming off the stem cell transplant. Maybe I baby-ed myself more last time. Maybe I don’t remember what it was like. Maybe I’m just getting old!

Well, it might also be the photography. I have not done as many shoots as I did last year. But I still have been doing 2-3 per weekend. So it is hours of driving, hours of shooting and hours and hours of editing. I’m looking forward to “the season” being over. But then again, I’m always looking forward to the photography season being over.

Next Thursday Lisa and I are off to Dana Farber for a follow-up visit with Dr. Munshi. I anticipate that he will firm up his plans for my maintenance therapy. I have already scheduled an appointment at Smilow with Dr. Seropian and a treatment appointment for the following week so hopefully ti will all go smoothly on this end.

And I am also hopeful that the maintenance therapy will not be too onerous. we shall see.

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Heather

I never thought I’d be writing a blog, and certainly not one that is all about me, and yet, here I am. For me life has always been interesting, not mundane, not always exciting per se, but hardly ever the norm. When I say “It’s always something…” I don’t hear it as my life is a mess, it;s always something. It’s more of life is challenging and evolving and messy and inspiring and wondrous, it’s always something. I grew up in suburbia, buy my grandfather was the head of the Communist Party in the U.S. I was raised keeping that a secret, so that was something. I am tall, always have been, really tall (6’1″), I was taller than every human being in my elementary school when I was in 6th grade, that is still something. My parents divorced in my teens. I got a full basketball scholarship to Duke University. I married my high school basketball coach, 18 years my senior. I raised a stepson. I had two amazing kids of my own. We had a multicultural household, secular christian (I guess that’s what I would call it, you know Santa and the Easter Bunny) and Judaism, I used to say if it was a holiday – we celebrated it! We were uber involved in our community, mostly through youth athletics, coaching, managing and spectating. Our kids grew up, I started a photography business on the side (I hope to share some photos here) and we planned to travel a bit together, went to Portugal for our 25th anniversary and then my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer, initially they gave him 5 years, but he only survived for a little over two. I was going to say lived, but really, it was more like surviving. That, indeed, was something. I became a widow at 49. It was the worst thing that ever happened to me. But, then it was something in another way. I relearned who I was. You don’t realize how much of you becomes a combination of you and another person in a relationship. And not in a bad way, it is essential, and you don’t lose yourself, you just evolve. And I found myself suddenly alone, and learning about myself and who I had become over the years, what was just me, and what was part of who we were together. Which in retrospect, was probably hardest on those around me who had gotten used to the old me, or never even knew the original me. A year later I found love again. Sold my home of 31 years and moved closer to work. I became more fit, ate more healthfully and was amazed that I could be happy, truly happy, in the wake, no not wake, but the shadow of such profound grief. And that is truly something, something amazing and unexpected. And then, through some routine blood work in April 2014, and a visit to a hematologist and bone marrow biopsy in May, I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma. And so, yes, for me right now it’s multiple myeloma, but that is not all, there are still highs and joys, and the mundane and the rest, but something like cancer does cast a pretty long shadow.

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