No more baby steps

Upon returning home from our week long vacation in the Hamptons I started to toy with the idea of starting to work from home earlier than I had originally anticipated. I am feeling better and better. The lingering symptoms are dry mouth, thirst and the biggest one, fatigue. The fatigue is somewhat difficult to track. I felt good on vacation, the trips down and back to the beach were completely manageable. Dining out every night was easy (ha!) as was strolling around town. I felt so good when I came home that on Monday I did what was close to my old full work out, the next day however, I was wiped out. So I am working on finding a balance. And although I am back to my regular 40 squats a day and take long walks without a problem, I wake up every morning with my legs feeling exhausted even though I have had a good night’s sleep.

We even went to a great wedding in NYC this past weekend. To prepare for it, I really took it easy the day before and the day of and I did fine. I danced and even stayed up until 11:00!

So. although I am heading up to bed these days at 8:00 p.m. I do feel ready to start back to work. At this point, I am only going to get fat and poor being home with no purpose. I have my first photography shoot this Friday (followed by one on Saturday and one on Sunday) and I will start working from home on Monday the 24th. In getting the doctor’s note required to start back to work I found out that I can return to working in the office on September 16th, which is earlier than I had thought (confusion on my part over which date we were counting from, transplant or discharge dates) and very good news. I miss my work peeps!

And of course, there is the hair update: it is growing. I’d have to say I am at the Sinead O’Connor stage. Here is a photo from the wedding prior to donning my wig.

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As I have felt better I started to wear the wig more (for the longest time I was just wearing buffs or nothing) and I did go and have it trimmed (only I could spend money at a salon when I have no hair!) and it is much more manageable now. But I am also going out now with “no hair”, meaning no artificial hair (I also have a baseball hat with hair that Scot calls my Sandra Bullock). I am now trying to figure out when I have enough hair to dye it to hide the greys.

So, I am moving along now at a fairly quick pace. I have an appointment on September 3rd at Dana Farber where I hope to learn what sort of consolidation therapy and maintenance therapy they are planning for me.

 

Published by

Heather

I never thought I’d be writing a blog, and certainly not one that is all about me, and yet, here I am. For me life has always been interesting, not mundane, not always exciting per se, but hardly ever the norm. When I say “It’s always something…” I don’t hear it as my life is a mess, it;s always something. It’s more of life is challenging and evolving and messy and inspiring and wondrous, it’s always something. I grew up in suburbia, buy my grandfather was the head of the Communist Party in the U.S. I was raised keeping that a secret, so that was something. I am tall, always have been, really tall (6’1″), I was taller than every human being in my elementary school when I was in 6th grade, that is still something. My parents divorced in my teens. I got a full basketball scholarship to Duke University. I married my high school basketball coach, 18 years my senior. I raised a stepson. I had two amazing kids of my own. We had a multicultural household, secular christian (I guess that’s what I would call it, you know Santa and the Easter Bunny) and Judaism, I used to say if it was a holiday – we celebrated it! We were uber involved in our community, mostly through youth athletics, coaching, managing and spectating. Our kids grew up, I started a photography business on the side (I hope to share some photos here) and we planned to travel a bit together, went to Portugal for our 25th anniversary and then my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer, initially they gave him 5 years, but he only survived for a little over two. I was going to say lived, but really, it was more like surviving. That, indeed, was something. I became a widow at 49. It was the worst thing that ever happened to me. But, then it was something in another way. I relearned who I was. You don’t realize how much of you becomes a combination of you and another person in a relationship. And not in a bad way, it is essential, and you don’t lose yourself, you just evolve. And I found myself suddenly alone, and learning about myself and who I had become over the years, what was just me, and what was part of who we were together. Which in retrospect, was probably hardest on those around me who had gotten used to the old me, or never even knew the original me. A year later I found love again. Sold my home of 31 years and moved closer to work. I became more fit, ate more healthfully and was amazed that I could be happy, truly happy, in the wake, no not wake, but the shadow of such profound grief. And that is truly something, something amazing and unexpected. And then, through some routine blood work in April 2014, and a visit to a hematologist and bone marrow biopsy in May, I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma. And so, yes, for me right now it’s multiple myeloma, but that is not all, there are still highs and joys, and the mundane and the rest, but something like cancer does cast a pretty long shadow.

8 thoughts on “No more baby steps”

  1. Heather…awesome that you are on the road to recovery. Looking forward to your return to work although have to say Dan and Katie have done a great job. By the way…you look fabulous!! 🙂

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  2. Heather, this is such fabulous news! I am in awe of your mental attitude, your strength, your stamina, and your gift of writing it all for us to share with you. To think of all that is behind you, and all that lies in front of you! May you continue to grow from strength to strength… xo

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  3. Heather
    You are an amazing woman and I so admire your strength, courage and very positive attitude. Do not overdue when returning to YHP and say “no” sometime if needed. Peace, faith and love, Carol

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  4. Do pace yourself. Whatever that means for you. I’m glad you are up and about and doing your thing. I want to meet your grey hair before you color it!

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