Back in January I spent several hours on my computer trying to purchase tickets to see James Taylor on the fourth of July at Tanglewood, fireworks and all. I scored 4 tickets and was very excited to be going with our friends Lisa and Michael. But then as the plans for the stem cell transplant fell into place I quickly realized that I would not be spending the holiday weekend as I had planned.
- No raw fruits or vegetables. This does not include thick-skinned fruits such as melons, citrus or avocados. It does include fresh uncooked herbs (like all of the basil,mint, parsley, dill, and cilantro in our gardens) and even uncooked black pepper.
- No restaurant food, this includes take-out, pizza, Starbucks coffee.
- No baked goods from a bakery, has to be store bought, packaged and processed.
I am struggling a bit this first week home with fatigue, nausea and lack of appetite. The nausea comes and goes. I found myself saying to my local oncologist yesterday that I was trying to be brave and not take the nausea meds. He asked “Why would you do that?” I said, “Well, not brave really, I am trying to be positive and look forward and wish the nausea away with this positive thinking.” Moments like these remind me of being in therapy, where you can’t always understand what you are thinking until you say it aloud, and then it all becomes clear. As it was yesterday, he said nothing and I added, ‘That’s dumb, should I go back to taking zofran prophylactically?” And so it goes.
They say that exercise can help with your fatigue. I did a tiny little mini portion of my old workout routine, something like a third of a half of it twice this week. The second time was this morning. I can walk at less then my normal pace for 15 minutes without feeling the effects. The plan is to add a bit to that every day, even a minute at a time.
The lack of appetite is lingering as well. I only feel like eating certain things and when I do, I can only eat a little bit of it before I am full or no longer have interest. This feeling is FAR outside how I normally feel about food and eating! I have lost 16 lbs. since I went into the hospital almost 3 weeks ago and I now weigh 5 lbs. more than I did when I got married – and haven’t seen this weight since that time (1983!).
So I am spending a lot of time on the couch watching t.v. If I do anything, emptying the dishwasher for instance, I do a portion of it and then go and rest and then do a little more and then go rest. etc.
But, this is the first week, and it should improve over time even if it is slowly. And I am not going to see James Taylor tomorrow, but I do see some lobster and corn on the cob in my future!