Day +6

So this morning was not as good as I had hoped.

Woke up to another migraine at 4am and then shortly before noon I experienced the worst 30 minutes I have had so far.  And 30 minutes may not seem like a long time unless it is happening to you.  The lovely list of incidents included: stomach cramps, diarrhea, and vomiting.

Aren’t you glad you came to read my blog today?

After IV anti-nausea meds and a two hour nap I have been feeling better; I even took a walk!

Sarah has arrived and is actually typing as I dictate.

One day at a time, one day at a time.

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I never thought I’d be writing a blog, and certainly not one that is all about me, and yet, here I am. For me life has always been interesting, not mundane, not always exciting per se, but hardly ever the norm. When I say “It’s always something…” I don’t hear it as my life is a mess, it;s always something. It’s more of life is challenging and evolving and messy and inspiring and wondrous, it’s always something. I grew up in suburbia, buy my grandfather was the head of the Communist Party in the U.S. I was raised keeping that a secret, so that was something. I am tall, always have been, really tall (6’1″), I was taller than every human being in my elementary school when I was in 6th grade, that is still something. My parents divorced in my teens. I got a full basketball scholarship to Duke University. I married my high school basketball coach, 18 years my senior. I raised a stepson. I had two amazing kids of my own. We had a multicultural household, secular christian (I guess that’s what I would call it, you know Santa and the Easter Bunny) and Judaism, I used to say if it was a holiday – we celebrated it! We were uber involved in our community, mostly through youth athletics, coaching, managing and spectating. Our kids grew up, I started a photography business on the side (I hope to share some photos here) and we planned to travel a bit together, went to Portugal for our 25th anniversary and then my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer, initially they gave him 5 years, but he only survived for a little over two. I was going to say lived, but really, it was more like surviving. That, indeed, was something. I became a widow at 49. It was the worst thing that ever happened to me. But, then it was something in another way. I relearned who I was. You don’t realize how much of you becomes a combination of you and another person in a relationship. And not in a bad way, it is essential, and you don’t lose yourself, you just evolve. And I found myself suddenly alone, and learning about myself and who I had become over the years, what was just me, and what was part of who we were together. Which in retrospect, was probably hardest on those around me who had gotten used to the old me, or never even knew the original me. A year later I found love again. Sold my home of 31 years and moved closer to work. I became more fit, ate more healthfully and was amazed that I could be happy, truly happy, in the wake, no not wake, but the shadow of such profound grief. And that is truly something, something amazing and unexpected. And then, through some routine blood work in April 2014, and a visit to a hematologist and bone marrow biopsy in May, I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma. And so, yes, for me right now it’s multiple myeloma, but that is not all, there are still highs and joys, and the mundane and the rest, but something like cancer does cast a pretty long shadow.

10 thoughts on “Day +6”

  1. Cannot imagine how you get through it but you are getting through it and helping all the rest of it by telling us about it. I am learning a lot…about you…..about myself, and the people who are with you. Thank you so much for keeping up with the blog! Thank you just for keeping up! I love you more and more….Rickie

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Heather
    Sending you today good thoughts, sweet dreams, faith, strength, love and peace. Hang in! Carol


  3. Day at a time…. hour at a time… moment at a time. Good strategies all. And thanks for the updates. I like to know. Even if it isn’t pretty. And yes… I AM glad I read your blog today. And all the other days.


  4. Yes , I am very glad I read your blog Heather – if you can write a blog, dictated or not, then most other mundane daily challenges can most certainly be conquered
    Your humor and strength and determination shine, yet never think for a moment that the fight you are enduring is forgotten or minimized – keep fighting, stay strong, keep the fight, and feel the love!!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Heather…been thinking about you! Thank you for updating your blog. Although I know it is not pretty what you are going through I am thankful that you are updating and keeping everyone in the loop. One day at a time…stay strong and positive!! Prayers coming your way every day!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Enjoy the moments when you feel good. Is it possible to ask the nurses to have the migraine medication in your room or at their station at all times in case you need it? So sorry about your 30 minutes, that probably felt like forever. So glad you are feeling better. IV anti-nausea meds are the bomb! Happy your daughter is with you now. All my best. Denise

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Hang in there girl!! Things will get better. For now it’s all about living in the moment and letting that treatment work for you:) I’ll light more candles!!

    Liked by 1 person

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