Weeds

Quick update: Friday’s blood work was completely uneventful in that a.) I did not faint and b.) I did not need any transfusions.  I am however, very neutropenic (low white blood count, very little immunity). I have also successfully purchased a wig. So if my hair falls out soon, or not until June, either way, I am ready.

Being neutropenic, as I am now, is not as restrictive as being post stem cell transplant. There are a few simple rules to follow: wash your hands a lot, stay away from sick people, stay out of the basement and the attic, and don’t move plants or do any gardening. The most difficult one for me right now is the plant/gardening one. Scot is gardening like a madman and I can basically supervise, but from a distance. It sounds silly, but I cannot tell you how hard it is for me to walk through my yard at this time of year and not grab a stray maple sapling or other weed out of the ground!

I did take a great hike in the woods and am grateful I will be able to do that (as long as I am feeling up to it) throughout this process. And I made a fabulous cold sesame noodle dish for lunch – have to contribute where I can!

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Heather

I never thought I’d be writing a blog, and certainly not one that is all about me, and yet, here I am. For me life has always been interesting, not mundane, not always exciting per se, but hardly ever the norm. When I say “It’s always something…” I don’t hear it as my life is a mess, it;s always something. It’s more of life is challenging and evolving and messy and inspiring and wondrous, it’s always something. I grew up in suburbia, buy my grandfather was the head of the Communist Party in the U.S. I was raised keeping that a secret, so that was something. I am tall, always have been, really tall (6’1″), I was taller than every human being in my elementary school when I was in 6th grade, that is still something. My parents divorced in my teens. I got a full basketball scholarship to Duke University. I married my high school basketball coach, 18 years my senior. I raised a stepson. I had two amazing kids of my own. We had a multicultural household, secular christian (I guess that’s what I would call it, you know Santa and the Easter Bunny) and Judaism, I used to say if it was a holiday – we celebrated it! We were uber involved in our community, mostly through youth athletics, coaching, managing and spectating. Our kids grew up, I started a photography business on the side (I hope to share some photos here) and we planned to travel a bit together, went to Portugal for our 25th anniversary and then my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer, initially they gave him 5 years, but he only survived for a little over two. I was going to say lived, but really, it was more like surviving. That, indeed, was something. I became a widow at 49. It was the worst thing that ever happened to me. But, then it was something in another way. I relearned who I was. You don’t realize how much of you becomes a combination of you and another person in a relationship. And not in a bad way, it is essential, and you don’t lose yourself, you just evolve. And I found myself suddenly alone, and learning about myself and who I had become over the years, what was just me, and what was part of who we were together. Which in retrospect, was probably hardest on those around me who had gotten used to the old me, or never even knew the original me. A year later I found love again. Sold my home of 31 years and moved closer to work. I became more fit, ate more healthfully and was amazed that I could be happy, truly happy, in the wake, no not wake, but the shadow of such profound grief. And that is truly something, something amazing and unexpected. And then, through some routine blood work in April 2014, and a visit to a hematologist and bone marrow biopsy in May, I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma. And so, yes, for me right now it’s multiple myeloma, but that is not all, there are still highs and joys, and the mundane and the rest, but something like cancer does cast a pretty long shadow.

4 thoughts on “Weeds”

  1. …this year you’ll enjoy the beauty of the flowers Heath. Just keep keepin on one day at a time. You’re doing great!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m glad you can still touch noodles. And there’s a page in that packet about your transplant called “Secrets of Success” and it said “Walk, and Walk and Walk.” “The more you walk, the better off you are.” I have experienced that particular healing modality for years now, and it works for everything — physical, mental, emotional, spiritual. It also said wash your hands, take naps, and be patient. I’m not crazy about the chemo stuff… but the common sense suggestions? I really like a lot.

    Liked by 1 person

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